Why does the act of “saying no” tend to be such a struggle for most of us? Even when we know it’s for the best? Ugh. The human brain baffles me on the daily. In this instance, I’m most specifically talking about money. Yes, baby, I mean spending that moolah we work our asses off for! WHY CAN’T WE JUST SAY NO! (callout post @myself)
I’m not going to lie to you, money is a touchyyy subject for me right now. And I know I know, talking funds is probably just as much of a mistake as bringing up politics or vaccines at Thanksgiving dinner… But you know what? I’m going to do it anyway; because I feel like it’s important and it’s even harder to understand, when people are so shy about it! So look at me, breaking the rules (rare form). Goodbye, taboo conversation topics, hello real life problems!
To put it in Layman’s Terms–ya girl is BROKE. I mean, not entirely, but close enough. These last few months, my job situation has been all over the place, causing my usual income to plummet with a quickness. Which let me tell you, is a very humbling experience… I truly h-a-t-e being “that friend” who has to say no to spontaneous plans and exciting activities simply because I can’t afford it. It sucks. And I’m sure most of us can at least relate once or twice? But like the wise Dave Ramsey says: “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” I repeat those words in my head very very often… He’s right! If we give ourselves the power to say NO to things NOW, just think of all the things we could say YES to LATER!?
Trust me, I know how it feels to be that grey cloud over everyone’s head when all I seem to say is “no, can’t go there, can’t do that, etc”. Asking for help has never been my strong suit, and it hurts every time I have to. Putting my ego to the side and realizing the truth. Yet sometimes help isn’t always negative! It doesn’t mean you’re worthless or pathetic. It means you’re in a situation that maybe someone else can offer assistance in. There is entirely NO SHAME in that!
I think we need to learn to say no out of strength, instead of yes out of weakness. Normalizing the act of making good decisions for ourselves, even if people might judge you for it. It’s 2020, y’all!
As my word of the year states, I’m going to continue giving EFFORT no matter what. I know that things are going to get easier very soon, so in this rough patch of time, I’m learning the act of self-control. Saying NO to things that I reallllyyyy didn’t want to (monthly sugar wax appointment, I’m looking at you). But I know that when I look at the bigger picture, it makes it easier to prioritize. Do I need those new shoes from Target…or would I rather spend that towards a plane ticket for Spring Break?? Asking ourselves the basic, yet hard questions are what it’s all about! A few simple disciplines practiced over time will amount to something far greater in the future! I promise.
So am I writing this to shame you for your bad spending habits? Hell no! Am I writing this to put myself in my place and feel accountable? Damn right. I’m working every day on making better choices and getting things in order. What greater time to start preparing for the future than now!? I’ll leave you here with another good word from Mr. Ramsey himself: “It is behavior, not math that will get you out of financial distress. If you were doing math, you wouldn’t be in this problem in the first place!” Probably should get that tattooed on my forehead…wait…tattoos cost money. Nevermind.
Until next time,
Remember saying no is okay, darling!